I need help removing her.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
