Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
