I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you had me at cake vodka
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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