Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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