Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
