Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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