Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize