why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
