Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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