oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
