Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
