i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
