He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
