Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
