best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
