You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
