It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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