Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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