they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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