sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
