Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
