What a fucking waste of an outfit
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
