So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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