I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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