dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's Friday. Sex?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
