im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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