did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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