just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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