I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
