2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
