No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
