Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
