Someone shit on the floor
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
