even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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