I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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