I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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