I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
