I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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