i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
