I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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