soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
