Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
