Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
