I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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