Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
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He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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