respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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