Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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