I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
