Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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