your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
