My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
