The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
tell me about the fingering
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
