Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
