my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
