just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
