have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
