she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
