So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
where are you?
Hypothermia
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
