I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
