just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The Olympian is in my bed
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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