You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
