like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
