When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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