are you still at the devil's house?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
