How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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