I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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