Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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