i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
