you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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