i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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