2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
